Live in the South long enough, and you will hear the phrase that is, and always has been, more effective than any device to extract information from its hapless victim–usually a man.
I'm Just Saying
You know what they say,” pretty much any southerner will tell you during the winter, “If you hear thunder, then you’ll have snow within seb’n days.”
“Seb’n?” I echoed the elderly gent, this past Wednesday, who has sold us produce for years, although without a Lucky Strike wedged in the corner of my mouth.
Every few weeks I give a riding lesson to a student who resides in...
(Wait for it)
Papua New Guinea!
Looking to all the world as if he is sporting the world’s worst bikini wax, my young ex-race horse, Forrest, having just received an ultrasound where a layman might consider to be his thigh and the top of his bum, has been given a diagnosis of a mild stifle injury, requiring a lay-up of six months and very careful rehab.
When you sleep with an old dog...
...Now listen, if you’re going to think like that, I’m going to turn this column around and drive straight home, do you hear me?
Talk about throwing down the gauntlet!
In the past week, actress Kirstie Alley, 64, has turned up on quite a few television shows as she flaunts her 50 pound weight loss, and Madonna, age 56, photographed wearing something that might have been a sling shot, have both released grumpy statements regarding middle-aged men.
I had to inwardly applaud upon spying a post on social media, which read “Get rid of the Man Cave and bring back the Study.” It was illustrated, naturally, with side by side depictions of one room, garish in brash colors, posters of cheerleaders, vintage beer signs, pool table and a wide screen TV so enormous that one could count the nose hairs
Oh, Lawd, I am so full. Let me ‘splain:
Paul and I don’t exchange gifts beneath the tree for Christmas, anymore, but we do exchange stockings and you’d be surprised by what exquisite things can fit into a stocking: diamond earrings, a platinum money clip, the key to a new Mercedes...
I wouldn’t say it’s a quiet life I seek. More like a ‘quiet-ish’ life.
You see, I’m the sort of person who claims to look forward to a rainy day, declaring it’s nice just to keep the horses in their stalls and have a day off from training and get caught up on all the overdue chores in the house.
Well, that’s what I claim.
Why do you need your phone in a barn?