I'm Just Saying

It just goes to show that there’s someone for everybody.

Certainly there have been thriving relationships that baffle the world with their initial attraction and long-term success: Helena Bonham-Carter and the darkly eccentric director Tim Burton, Woody Allen and Soon Yi, a banana and mayo sandwich...

It’s not that I place less importance on people than animals, but while I simply cannot dredge up a memory of someone I met or even knew quite well decades ago, I can somehow remember the animal in their life with laser-like precision.

If I didn’t have this farm, if I hadn’t led the life I’ve led, I would absolutely be embracing the new movement quietly sweeping through this country:
Tiny houses.

Now, many people might consider my 1,500 square foot IHOP wannabe a tiny house, but compared to these new homes, my cabin is a hulking airplane hangar.

In all my years of watching the stand-up comedy of Jerry Seinfeld, beginning in 1984, I believe the best joke he ever wrote was a relatively recent one, reflecting on being a father:

“A 2-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”

It’s not unusual for me to receive a couple of requests each week for speaking engagements or to perform stand-up for charitable events.

I’m pretty sure I don’t owe any of them money, but evidently, I’ve got dead relatives hanging out all around my house.

Cardinals, you see- not those that vote on a new pope, but rather the ones with a way cooler pompadour hairdo.

So...did you feel the Edgefield, earthquake last week?

Paul didn’t.

And the subsequent aftershocks?

Paul didn’t.

And the huge thunderstorms that just rolled through?

You guessed it.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

So said, according to Wikipedia, the ancient Greek work of Herodotus, translated by Prof. George Herbert Palmer, Harvard University, describing the Persian system of mounted postal carriers c. 500 B.C.E.