I'm Just Saying

State of bliss

Pam Stone's picture

Each weekend Paul and I have turned into a regular Ma and Pa Kettle, setting off on Sunday excursions to get off the farm for a change of scenery.

If we remain in South Carolina, we search for that rarest of venues come noon: a restaurant with outdoor seating and a staff who protects themselves and the public by wearing masks.

Toadily in love

Pam Stone's picture

Since writing about Carl the toad I have received a flood of enquiries asking if I still see him on my way to the barn this morning, how he is weathering the heat, and if Steve the snake has shown up.

Masking for trouble

Pam Stone's picture

If there’s one thing that gives any woman of ‘a certain age’ a little boost, it’s being asked to show identification when buying beer at a mini-mart. Especially if you conveniently allow yourself to forget that it’s mandatory for any customer, and, no, frankly, you don’t appear to be under 21.

Toad you so

Pam Stone's picture

The last few days have been something like an episode of ‘Wild Kingdom’ here at the Funny Farm. Or, to be more precise, shall I say, “Mild Kingdom,” as there’s been no Rhino ear- tagging by the hapless Jim, his weekly suicide mission dictated by Marlin Perkins, from the comfort of a voice-over booth, or fleeing from a herd of Wildebeest.

What’s next, locusts?

Pam Stone's picture

Evidently, our omnipresent red clay just ain’t good enough and so we are now importing dust. A 4,000 mile long plume, whipped up by storms across the Saharan desert, visible from space, is now heading to the southeastern coast of the U.S.

Deep is the hunger

Pam Stone's picture

For the life of me I can’t imagine how it would feel to have the street directly in front of my driveway, along with our farm’s sign and even nearby street signs, defaced with obscene and intimidating language designed to torment my family. And yet that is what happened last weekend to a community in our immediate area.

Dollar store chardonnay

Pam Stone's picture

Let me tell you what happened at the Dollar store the other night.

After stepping back into the parking lot with my yellow plastic bags, I stopped abruptly as I noticed the rear wheel of Paul’s Hyundai was flat.

“You got a flat!” hollered Ann, the manager, from the doorway.

What in the world

Pam Stone's picture

Remember how, when we were little kids, many of us wanted to grow up to become astronauts? Then life happens and safer, earthborne options seem more obtainable: law school, nursing, teaching, engineering…stand-up comedy.


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