I'm Just Saying
Alexa, shut up

One of the reasons I won’t allow an Amazon Alexa into our home is because the fear of ‘Alexa’ listening in is both valid and alarming. I mean, we all realize we’re under surveillance every time we browse online, right?
Kindness suits us to a (Ernest) T

Small town living means that when you get your tractor stuck in the manure pile during a snow storm, your neighbor comes to pull you out with his back hoe.
It also means you would have a neighbor that actually owns a back hoe.
Oh, and he’s pushing 80.
I’ll just be cussing

"Snow!!” a few, of which I formerly considered friends, exclaimed upon hearing the latest forecast for what sounds to be blizzard like conditions arriving Sunday.
“I love snow!” chirped one. “I can’t wait to get to that stack of books I’ve been meaning to read.”
New year, new me

And so the New Year is upon us!
I find the idea of making resolutions to be deadly dull and not terribly effective. In fact, when I look back at the several I have made in past years, no pencil was needed to tick off which ones I’d managed to uphold:
A solemn vow to avoid refined sugar. Fail.
For Betty

Shortly after arriving in West Hollywood, California, in 1985, I somehow managed to land a job writing jokes for a new game show pilot called ‘Word Play,’ later to be hosted by the congenial Tom Kennedy.
Merry Christmas

At some time in our collective lives, many of us have sighed as Christmastide approaches and thought, “I wish it could be like this all year long…” Not the ‘set decoration’ of the holiday with its music and lights and gifts, but the intimate coziness as the nights draw in and the kindness abounds...
Fruitcake woes

My annual fruitcake endeavor has not been entirely successful this year, although Paul did kindly point out that I’ve come a long way from my first attempt. Which is also the only thing in the world I have ever baked.
O Tannenbaum

O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum,
How lovely are thy branches,
O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum,
To buy, I must sell my ranches!
Poo-pourie

It’s the little things in life, isn’t it, that make it all worthwhile, at least here at the Funny Farm…